THIS POST WAS ORIGINALLY SENT TO MY MAILING LIST. WANT TO RECEIVE EMAILS LIKE THIS IN THE FUTURE? SIGN UP HERE: https://colinshuran.com/newsletter/
“The soul of the world is nourished by people’s happiness.”
~Paulo Coelho (The Alchemist)
Just yesterday, when shopping for groceries at the wonderful Food Lion, I was leaving just as a father and his two children were entering. The little boy, about 2 years old, was riding on the cart, and he wore a white cowboy hat bigger than his head. The elementary-age girl, who wore a cute flannel dress with a denim jacket, held her father’s hand. The father, too, wore a cowboy hat, and his shirt pattern matched his daughter’s. Details aside, they were an unassuming, though charming, family going shopping.
Simultaneously, an elderly woman was putting her cart away, when the boy’s gargantuan hat caught her eye.
“That’s a mighty cute cowboy you got there,” she said to the father. “And what a precious young lady,” she said of the girl.
It was a quick exchange—the children smiled, the father thanked the woman, and then she returned her cart. Though, just as the two parties passed each other, the young girl turned around and said, “Ma’am, what can I pray for you today?”
I was already out of frame by the time the girl’s words left her mouth. But I drove home thinking about that scenario. It made me smile and made my heart feel warm. There I was, having nothing to do with the exchange, though I felt gratified.
What was this occurrence? How come I, a mere bystander, felt such bliss at the joy emitted from others?
That’s what controversial philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche coined as the term mitfreude—the feeling of joy deriving from others feeling joy. In the case of the Food Lion exchange, I experienced mitfreude because of others’ perceived joy.
Now, in truth, mitfreude as a word doesn’t exist. In fact, it comes from the inverse of schadenfreude, a German term for deriving pleasure from seeing others’ pain. (It’s different from masochism, where one derives pleasure from their own pain.) Nonetheless, mitfreude is the better term. 🙂
Where do we go from here?
I would like to end with an exercise learned from best-selling author Tim Ferriss. What this exercise accomplishes is increasing our own happiness by wishing happiness upon others.
Start by looking for one person—a stranger or someone you know—and, to yourself, simply think, “I wish for this person to be happy.” Don’t say it aloud, just let the thought run through your mind. Repeat as many times as you’d like.
As we continue to navigate through turbulent times, we can make the world a happier place by actively wishing happiness upon others. And when we do, we will feel a perpetual joy, or mitfreude, and our joy will ripple out to others in the world.
A quick message: I kept Paulo Coelho’s “The Alchemist” in the back of my mind for this week’s newsletter. It’s one of the greatest novels I have ever read, and the one I recommend the most. Its accessibility makes it perfect for those who aren’t voracious readers. And its overarching message applies to everyone who reads it.